


Fate/stay night shift

by plumesvertes



Category: Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Everyone Is Alive, Gen, Humor, Older Waver, mentions of others that I didn’t list, two dudes gossip at mcdonald’s I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24230134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plumesvertes/pseuds/plumesvertes
Summary: Waver knows that life is tough when you’ve been working on your PhD for eight years. Especially when you work full-time as a live-in manager for a college dorm. Well, it’s nothing cheap McDonald’s coffee can’t fix, right?Or: a slice of college AU — at night
Relationships: Kariya Matou & Waver Velvet
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	Fate/stay night shift

**Author's Note:**

> I worked the night shift at college until COVID-19 killed that. I hope I adequately captured the surreal chaos of it all

Waver didn’t care that he was on duty or that it was 3 AM. He needed a drink.

A caffeinated one, that is.

“Einzbern, I’ve contacted PD, and support should be on its way. Officers Pendragon and Kojiro.”

“I’ve got it all under control, Mr. Velvet!” It unnerved him that Illyasviel sounded so young, but she managed overnight shifts as well as anyone, and she kicked more ass than Waver could at her age. Not that he even knew her age. Hell, most days Waver forgot that he was mere months away from hitting 30.

Last week it was a gaggle of freshmen using a pumpkin as a bowling ball - in the middle of the hall - which resulted in the exact kind of mess one would expect. Tonight it was that Emiya boy, knocked out cold after getting in a fistfight. Again. Waver couldn’t blame him for wanting to punch drunk partygoers that leer at girls, but after the third time in a semester it stops being courageous and starts being concerning. Kids these days. Gods, now he really sounded old.

He got a text from Einzbern saying that the police had gotten there and were checking Emiya for a concussion. Arturia and him were friends - they had been since they both started their respective jobs five years ago - and he trusted her to handle the situation. Being the head staff of a college residence hall was like wrangling kittens, if the kittens couldn’t hold their liquor and were horny and half of them had anxiety. It helped to have at least person he could rely on.

Waver parked his car, beeped to lock it and then beeped again just to be safe, and headed into McDonald’s. It was filled with all manner of patrons - such was the norm for a college McDonald’s in the dead of night on a Saturday. There were your standard partygoers looking for a bite to eat after a night out, and at least two unfortunate souls who had the telltale raccoon eyes of the fully nocturnal student. 

There were Gilgamesh and Iskandar, loitering in the back as usual. Their faces were flushed, and they were both laughing riotously, banging their fists on their trays in response to something Waver was positive wasn’t even funny. The staff were used to it by now - they’d kicked those two out before, for causes that Waver heard ranged from a drunken fistfight that ended in a broken table, to a drunken kissing session that also ended in a broken table. Arturia refused to talk about Gilgamesh and “the McNugget incident”. However, they were always welcomed back on account of their habit of leaving $10 tips.

Waver used the digital menu to place his order. One large coffee, and - why the hell not - a chocolate chip cookie. The customer service here was slow, not that he could blame the staff given the kind of environment they were in, but he was antsy to get going in case the world ended in his absence. Or the laundry room flooded in the middle of the night again. Same difference, really.

While his order was being prepared, Waver looked through the window to see if the coast was clear to take a smoke break. He immediately ducked behind the menu display upon seeing Kariya Matou standing out on the sidewalk. 

Rumor was that Kariya was homeless, or a hard drug user, or both. Either way, Waver didn’t want to be seen by him. It appeared to be too late though, as Kariya was already walking inside and in his direction.

“Mr. Velvet...?”

“Ah, I didn’t see you there! Kariya Matou, right? We met...” Waver couldn’t remember where they had met.

“...at the library, when I was working the graveyard shift and you were up late working on your thesis,” Kariya answered. “Mr. Velvet, are you hiding from me?”

“Not at all. I’m hiding from...them,” Waver pointed to Gilgamesh and Iskandar. 

“Aren’t you and Iskandar friends?”

Waver didn’t know if he’d call them friends, exactly - a little over a two years ago, Waver met Iskandar when he sat in one of the history classes he was taking, despite the fact that Iskandar had graduated several years ago. He just really liked history, and really had a lot of time to kill. They’d developed an antagonistic bond that had grown into something genuine over the years. “I guess you could say that. But I’m on duty now and don’t have time to entertain them.”

“Oh yeah, you’re in charge of one of the dorms, right? Sakura’s heard a lot about you from Rin. From what she told me, you’re doing a great job.”

Rin Tohsaka was one of his RAs - truthfully, the best one he’d had since he’d started this job. He hadn’t been keen on working with the daughter of the pompous university president, but the girl had proven her worth many times over. She’d mentioned a freshman sister named Sakura who lived in a different dorm, but when Waver asked why they didn’t share a last name, she refused to elaborate.

Waver grabbed his completed order and checked his phone. A message from Einzbern that Emiya was okay and no one from the party was arrested. Well, he could afford to take a break. ”Thank you. Hey, do you want to sit down while I have my cookie and you have...I can buy you something if you want? It’s on me.”

Kariya shook his head and pulled out a container of fries from his hoodie pocket. “I’m all covered. You know I’m not actually homeless, right? You’ve seen me at my job.”

“I knew that,” Waver said, feeling a twinge of guilt at the lie. He chose a table such that Iskandar would be unlikely to notice them, and Kariya joined him. 

“That was just a stupid rumor my younger cousin Shinji started. I live in The Commons, which isn’t exactly paradise, but it’s better than the streets.”

Waver nodded and sipped his coffee. When he didn’t add anything, Kariya asked, “Do you know Professor Kotomine?”

“Just because I’m a PhD student doesn’t mean I know every professor at the school,” Waver scoffed. “But yeah, I know him.”

Kariya’s uneven eyes widened. “What’s his deal?”

“Uh, he‘s an adjunct, teaches some introductory religious classes. He doesn’t really socialize much with the other professors. Gilgamesh is his TA, I think. He’s always in his classroom, although I’ve never actually seen him do any teaching or grading. Why?”

“Well, Sakura’s taking one of his classes...and I met him when I was working one night. I was on rounds, and he was standing in the middle of the shelves, just staring off into space. Not even looking through books or anything.” Kariya popped a fry into his mouth. “We get to talking, and somehow he has me spilling my guts! He figured out I was related to Sakura, and started asking all these questions about the Matou family history. He said some Bible stuff I didn’t understand and then he just walked off.”

“That sounds like Professor Kotomine,” Waver sighed. “Every department has its weirdos. The history department has Professor Archibald, although he’s not so much weird as he is a bastard.”

“That’s not all though,” Kariya continued, munching on his fries with a manic fervor. “I fell asleep in one of the cubicles after my shift that night - don’t look so appalled, I’m not proud of it - and when I woke up, there was a Starbucks coffee on the desk with his name on the cup. It was black, and lukewarm by that point, so I didn’t drink much. But still...weird, right?”

“That’s...” Waver searched for the right words. Creepy? Sweet? Bizarre in a way that only Kotomine could pull off? He was about to say as much, but was interrupted by Iskandar suddenly ambling into his frame of vision. 

“WAVER! It is a fortuitous occasion to meet you here tonight!” 

“He talks like this when he’s drunk,” Waver explained. “Iskandar, and Gilgamesh...this is Kariya Matou.” 

“A pleasure to meet you, Kariya Matou!” Iskandar bellowed, and Kariya gave a halfhearted wave.

Gilgamesh’s upper body shook with laughter - an interesting effect, given that Gilgamesh’s left arm was currently slung across Iskandar’s much higher shoulder. “So we finally meet, Kariya. Kirei’s told me much about you.”

Kariya looked at Waver and threw his hands up, to which Waver shrugged. 

“What’ve you two been doing tonight?” he asked, already knowing the general answer but wanting to get this part of the conversation out of the way.

“We joined a fraternity in their celebration of brotherhood! And now we dine to absorb the alcohol we imbibed in our pursuit of partying.”

“But we’re not done yet,” Gilgamesh added. “Let us leave these mongrels and continue our pursuit of pleasure.” 

Waver and Kariya shared a look. “Don’t you guys think you‘re getting a bit old for this?”

“Nonsense!” Iskandar admonished. “We must enjoy youth to its fullest while we can. Waver, why don’t you join us?”

“I’m on duty.” Not that he hadn’t said no on nights when he wasn’t on the clock, but this was easier than arguing with an intoxicated, hyped-up Iskandar.

“Kariya, then!” Gilgamesh exclaimed. “You look like you could use some excitement in your life.“

“I’m like, 34. And frat parties were never my thing anyway.” 

“...Hmph. How boring. Well, Kariya Matou, perhaps we shall meet again under better circumstances.” Gilgamesh popped a handful of Kariya’s fries into his mouth, and he and Iskandar left for their next stop of the night. 

“These are the kind of shenanigans I have to put up with every day,” Waver grumbled, but fondly. He checked his phone, more out of habit than anything, only to find two missed calls from Tohsaka. “Gotta take this, hold on,” he said to Kariya, and redialed.

“Waver, can you believe Shirou? I mean, the nerve of that guy, causing a fight on my floor again - and Illya didn’t even wake me up this time!”

“I’m the one who’s going to have to write the incident report, so yes, I can believe it. And Emiya probably asked her not to, given how you reacted last time.” 

“I’ve every right to be upset! He’s going to get himself killed at this rate. If I don’t kill him first!” 

“I know, I know. Take a deep breath. How’d you find out if Einzbern didn’t wake you?” 

“Oh, I woke up after I heard strange noises downstairs. Illya’s here with me now.”

“Shit. It’s not...”

“It’s the laundry room.”

Sure enough, there was a flood (ha) of incoming texts from Einzbern, including pictures of the disaster scene. “I’ll be there soon,” he said, and hung up. 

“Let me guess. A freshman set their microwave on fire with instant noodles?”

“No, one of the washing machines broke. The room is probably filled with at least an inch of water. It’s going to take hours to drain,” Waver lamented, fisting his hands in his hair.

“There are worse things for a room to be filled with than water,” Kariya said darkly. “But anyway! Thanks for chatting with me, and good luck with that.”

“You too. I’ll see you around,” he said, and it was probably true. He looked forward to their next meeting, whenever that might be.

Waver took a moment to sag in his seat once he was back in his car. He was going to have to call emergency maintenance, which was always a pain. Last time they’d sent someone named Gilles, and that guy was strange even for a night shift worker. He looked like he hadn’t seen the sun in years, and kept mumbling to himself in a foreign language as he tinkered with the washing machine. If Waver was a superstitious person, he’d suspect Gilles of putting a curse on it.

At least Arturia would get a kick out of this. Waver called her and put her on speakerphone as he started to drive. To his delight, she picked up.

“Goodnight, Waver!” Arturia greeted him with their standard night shift joke, her voice sounding not at all shaken despite the rough night he knew she was having. That was something he always admired about her. “Besides Shirou being Shirou, is everything going well?”

“I wish I could tell you yes. There’s a flood again,” he bemoaned.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything we can do to help?”

“No, it’s nothing the police should be concerned with, although I’ll keep you posted. Anything else interesting happen at the station tonight?”

“Just the usual for a Saturday. Let’s hope it stays that way.” 

“Well as long as you don’t have anything to share, let me tell you about what just happened at McDonald’s...”

**Author's Note:**

> There’s a bunch of headcanons I have for this AU that didn’t make it into the fic but the most important is that Gilles and Ryuunosuke live together and they’re the local weed dealers


End file.
